I have been down on myself. Old patterns die hard. Impossible, i say to myself. I feel despondent at all the time I have wasted not drawing. I look at people 10 years younger than me and think that I will never be that good. Why bother?
Of course, these voices or internal dialog are just bad programming. Everyone has learned what they do, through toil and work and repetition. That is one big lesson- repetition. And time. It all takes time. Thus the old alchemical saying "festina lente" which, for the non Latin inclined, means "make haste slowly." (And just for the record, I am one of those non-Latin inclined. However, reading lots of alchemical literature, one gets accustomed to certain phrases.)
In alchemy, the matter being worked on had to decay before it could be worked with. The Masters called this process putrefaction. The matter would break down into its component parts, an almost black tarry sludge. It was from this that the elements of the philosophers stone would be built; and the putrefaction was a means of breaking up the matter to get at the various parts.
This process is symbolized by Scorpio, which rules, as it so happens, the reproductive organs. This is where the creative force tends to reside in man. It is the libido, the creative force from which all forms spring. In the human machine, it can be directed outwards in the production of offspring, or external reproduction, or it can be internally directed, up the spine to the head, where the force finds expression in the mental faculties of creativity.
This force is symbolized in various ways in tarot. In the fool, last weeks card, the sun in the top corner is situated in the corner of the scorpion (on keys 10 and 21) which of course corresponds to Scorpio. It is the infinite life energy, chi or prajna, the Ruach. Its physical manifestation and symbol is the sun. This same energy is in us and expresses itself through us.
What does this have to do with the magician? Well, the "magician" is a master of creative expression. The life power flows through the magician, as the magician has rendered himself into a clear and fit channel for the one life. He is a healthy symbol for the ego, the "I" in us, which is a point of focus for this infinite energy, and which the magician directs to create works of change, of art- he is a mediator between this Infinite Force ("God") and the environment.
As well, we see a serpent on the magician, a serpent biting its own tail. Traditionally this is called the Ouroboros, and represents eternity, infinity, creation, infinite energy. The serpent force, which we will come to eventually, is about the magicians waste, and holds on his white robe, symbol of his being clothed with the pure perception of reality. As well, the sign scorpio, related to the tarot card death, is associated with the Hebrew letter Nun, which literally means "a serpent." (and on an interesting side note, the season related to Scorpio is fall, and of course contains Halloween in its turnings...)
Thus we see the roses and lilies, both creations of human intervention, "cultivated" flowers. They rise up from the ground, which is symbolic of the subconsciousness. The magician using his wand (paint-brush or pencil perhaps?) channels the creative force downwards through himself, and thus out through to the environment. His tools are his means by which proper change is effected.
Care of Alex Grey
If one persists at something, it is inevitable that the current conditions of ones self and life will have to be broken down. There are always habits we have picked up which will resist our attempts at change. Any desire we formulate will be other than where we are, thus the conditions within which we find ourselves in at the time that we formulate the desire must be broken down. We must change ourselves, which takes on the energy of a small death.
The Tarot are a means by which we can begin to reformulate the image of ourselves, and our capabilities. As we learn their symbols, we are giving instructions to our subconsciousness to change parts of ourselves. The images are clear and clean suggestions of different parts of ourselves; 22 facets of our consciousness, as well as the consciousness of God. By them we align ourselves with the force which created us; we make the inner like the outer, the microcosm like the macrocosm. The cards are a magical alphabet of sorts. They are to magick what the periodic table is to chemistry; and as the periodic table defines the elements of the outer world, so to do the tarot define the elements of inner consciousness.
It would seem that this blog is becoming progressively more aligned with my esoteric pursuits as it is about my artistic pursuits; which does not really surprise me, as I am now viewing these two as one. Most of the great Masters I admire and aspire to were devoted to the mystical and creative life- being such as Michaelangelo, Raphael, Titian, Leonardo, many nameless alchemical artists, Van Gogh, Alex Grey... art can be a vessel for Divine Revelation.
So perhaps I will blog more about my esoteric pursuits here as well, as I learn to integrate them into my artistic path. I will bring in more later. For now, shower and some more tarot work.
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