I haven't posted in a while. My whole life has been super hectic. My whole routine was broken up by a 3 day Bardo retreat and a 5 day Dzogchen retreat- for those who are unfamiliar with these terms, they refer to teachings contained in Vajrayana Buddhism ( "Tibetan Buddhism" as it has been called.)
My whole life exploded, and I am sifting through it all and making sense again of whatever was left at the end. Now that I am back at art again, my aspirations and desires are getting stronger and clearer- though i can honestly say I almost wanted to run off, learn to translate tibetan and become a monk. The tradition is just that strong.
No worries though. I will not abandon my calling. Not yet. I had went to the National Portfolio Day last saturday and found out that my work is good enough to get me in to sheridan, if I apply it to my portfolio when the time comes.
Of course, I still have much to do. Perspective and Character Design are two of my weakest areas, which are my next task to learn a bit about and get decent at. This part I am most intimidated by so far, as character Design requires such an intensive use of the creative imagination, a thing I am terrified of and also feel inadequate with. I am intimidated by it, especially when i see the wonders that come out of other peoples imaginations. I have so much longing to tap into it that i feel estranged from it.
There have been many internal battles, emotional struggles and also revelations. I will get to these soon enough, now that i am back and rolling again. For now, here are my life drawings from this evening.
I noticed tonight that my skills seems to have taken a massive improvement. Whatever I have been doing seems to be working. I am looser, and my lines are getting more confident. So much of this really seems to be about letting go of tension, and feeling energy flow. This is very hard, as we are so used to being tense.
So, enjoy for now. I will update in the next few days with a little bit of food for thought.
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